For Convenience Sake
by tearsofbreakingglass
Summary: Elizabeta and Gilbert have been relying each other for emotional support, with their intimacy increasing as the Cold War heats up. How does the purely physical interact with their repressed longing for each other?


This was a relationship of convenience.

Well, for Elizabeta it was. Gilbert tried to force himself to feel differently, but it was impossible. He'd been in love for so long, yearning for her, how could he try to deny his feelings once he finally had her? But he had to deny. This was no time for romance. They were comrades - although they both loathed the term since coming under their Russian captor - in arms, fighting against an oppressive system that felt all-consuming. This was their act of rebellion in a society that punished love and compassion.

Still, Gilbert hoped. He was hoping then, watching Elizabeta sleep, her naked back rising and falling as she breathed. He lightly ran his fingers down her sides, enjoying the tenderness of the action. Like this, when she looked so soft and vulnerable, he could almost forget what a fierce warrior she was. There were women like her in myths. The Valkyries in Norse stories, those women who fiercely chose who lived and died in battle. Or the Amazons of the Greeks, the whole race of fighting women chosen by the Gods. That was more like it. "My Amazonian goddess," Gilbert mumbled.

"Wha-?" Elizabeta yawned and rolled over, blinking sleep out of her eyes. She smiled gently at her Prussian companion. "You're still here."

He shrugged, trying to make it seem as if he hadn't thought over the act extensively. "I was tired, it was easier than catching a train." He stood up. "Breakfast? I make a mean omelet."

She nodded and he left. The Hungarian snuggled up under the blankets, annoyed at the cool that now settled in. It was the first time he had stayed the night. They'd never had a spoken rule about leaving, but it had become custom. Easier to ignore the strangeness of everything if you were on your own in the morning. Easier not to think about things. She sighed, choosing to accept his given excuse. Besides, it didn't really matter.

It was better, Elizabeta thought. She knew he didn't like being on his own as much. Things haunted him, especially if he drank too much. This way she could keep an eye on him, make sure she prevented hearing from him in a panic the next day. Seeing him like that, it almost made her forget that he had once been one of the finest warriors in Europe. One of the sharpest military minds, able to take on any foe and triumph. Who would recklessly rush into battle against any opponent, even if the odds were against him. She chuckled and found renewed pride in all the times she'd beaten him on the field. "Ah, well I did say he was _one _of the best, not _the _best."

She rose from the bed and wrapped her robe around herself. She shuffled into the kitchen, following the smell of fresh eggs. "I didn't know you were capable of cooking." Her tone was teasing, but didn't quite hide the amazement of seeing such a formerly feral man doing such a mundane task.

"I had to feed Ludwig and myself somehow. Especially when my servants left with Wilhelm." He handed Elizabeta her plate and smiled. "You oughta give me more credit. I'm not a total barbarian."

She rolled her eyes and bumped him with her elbow. They sat down and ate in peaceable silence. Elizabeta looked over the letters from yesterday while Gilbert scanned the newspaper. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed her shift from Elizabeta to Hungary. "Something happened?"

Hungary huffed. "When doesn't something happen. We haven't been receiving adequate bread rations for the last three months so I've been kicking up a fuss to get some. Those shipments are going to be delayed by another month and even then there's no guarantee of it all being there. Not only that, but we're not getting enough oil from Moscow because of some bullshit Ivan's trying to pretend is all sunshine and roses. That son of a bitch, I should really cut out his tongue and break his fingers to make it harder for him to lie."

Gilbert watched her, knowing it was better for her to run her mouth off. No point in trying to calm her down, especially when he understood her frustrations. Not like they weren't experiencing similar problems in East Germany. But he didn't want to think about that. Not now, not when the bullshit of bureaucracy already occupied so much of his thoughts. "Try not to let it eat you alive. No point when it's always the same shit, different day."

"Like you don't worry about your own people."

"I try not to since Germany would be better off if I worried about it less. It doesn't seem to thrive anymore when I get involved."

Hungary didn't know how to take that, but he laughed. "I'm not so fragile, geeze. Don't make me feel like fine China." Prussia smiled a toothy grin. "You've been helping me deal with this shit for all this time, you should know I can take a joke."

She rolled her eyes. "Please, I'm not the only person you could talk to. You had Roderich as well. Which was weird, by the way. Seeing you two get along is uncomfortable."

"Yeah, but he doesn't really count. That was just for convenience sake."

Elizabeta scoffed. "And this isn't?"

Gilbert couldn't hide his wince. She frowned. "I didn't mean it quite like that. We've always been friends...of some kind. It came out wrong."

He had already hardened up though. "No, it's fine. We've always been a convenient thing. This is an alliance with an expiration date. I get it."

His hurt was annoying her. What did he want from this, from them? What did he expect? That they were going to bloom into a loving couple, one full of tenderness and soft moments carried out without a second thought? That wasn't in their nature. She had given up on that dream sold to little girls long ago, long when she had first gotten married to Roderich and realized her place in his life wasn't as an equal and a beloved partner. As for him, she could never recall a time when Gilbert ever believed in that stuff. He had always been so anti-marriage, against getting too emotionally invested in one person that it became a liability. Why would that change now, in a time when relationships were more costly than ever?

"You can't tell me you actually wanted a real relationship. Like, with dates and all that mushy crap. I thought you liked this. I thought this was what was best for us both!" She was getting frantic now, not wanting to hear anything to the contrary from him. She did not want to suddenly see him in this new light. There was so much changing, how could her Gilbert change as well?

He exhaled loudly through his nose. "Really? Do you not remember how pissed I was when you married Roddy? Do you think that was all completely selfless? All me not wanting you to be with a total square? Shit, Eliza, I've been pining for you since we were kids! You know how relieved I was when I found out you were a girl? I thought I was going to hell!" A stupid smile spread across his face. "And now, I'm with you. Yeah, it's not the way I'd always hoped, but it's got it's perks. But I can't give up that childish dream of something more. Something where we both might actually be happy again after so fucking long."

Elizabeta shot up. She began pacing. She couldn't deny there was something there between them, that there always had been. But why now? Why now, why couldn't it wait for a better time? When there was balance restored in the world and they could be free? She didn't want there to be a chance for this to be used against them. There always was blackmail potential, always a way of threatening to make you break. This would just be another liability. And their relationship and her friendship with Feliks was already so risky. Why add to it? Why enhance the risk?

The reckless part of her, the part of her who grew up believing in those fairy tales of daring romance and dashing knights wanted to give it a chance. The world sucked. Their position was incredibly bleak, but what was the point in them denying such a simple pleasure? Finding some joy out of life, hadn't she missed that? It was so hard to be positive, to find the beauty in the world around her. It had been so long since she'd been able to do that. Maybe this would rekindle something in her. Maybe it would do the same for him, with his eyes looking so heavy and fearful of what he'd seen. Other people couldn't fix your problems, she understood that, but you could heal alongside someone. And that would be the most beautiful thing of all.

Elizabeta hugged her robe tighter to her. There was still one nagging fear. "What if we lose each other?"

Gilbert got up and gently kissed her cheek. "We've lost each other before, but somehow we always find each other again. We're hotheads, shit'll happen. We just gotta try, make things work and make each other smile." He sighed. "God, have I missed your smile."

Slowly she turned around and took his hand. Gilbert brought it up to his lips, kissing it softly. "Promise me that this'll be fine." Elizabeta's voice was barely above a whisper.

"I promise you, everything'll be fine. I won't let it work out any other way."

For a second, they both believed it.


End file.
